Managing Emotions (With Our Peeps)

Rage. Despair. Terror. These are some of the strong negative emotions we may find ourselves experiencing after discovery/disclosure of our husband’s betrayal or sex addiction. These emotions are a normal part of the journey for a betrayed wife who has been...

The Younger PSA

Last week we looked at some of the experiences faced by older wives/partners of sex addicts. Today I’ll look at some of the common challenges I see younger PSAs facing. Cultural Cognitive Distortion In Beyond Betrayal I discuss the concept of “minimize,...

Aging: While a PSA

This past week I turned 50. This has caused me to reflect, not for the first time, on the challenges unique to the older betrayed wife. This week I’ll share some of these reflections, and next week I’ll look at some of the challenges unique to our younger...

SA: Making the Earth Quake

In proverbs 30, Agur (son of Jaketh) writes: Under three things the earth quakes; under four it cannot bear up: under a slave when he becomes king, and a fool when he is satisfied with food; under an unloved woman when she gets a husband, and a maidservant when she...

Escaping His Drama

Last week Dan Drake explained how DARVO (deny, attack, reverse, victim, offender) can be used by an SA (or abusive person) to gaslight his wife and protect his addiction. This brought to mind another dynamic seen all too commonly in SA/PSA marriages: the drama...

Gaslighting: Who’s the Bad Guy?

Beyond Betrayal Community friend, Dan Drake recently posted this excellent article on his site on gaslighting that I thought would add to our current series on this topic. Dan’s particular focus is “DARVO”: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim –...