Sex Addiction… Not His Problem?

In my counselling work with women suffering from betrayal trauma I routinely hear from clients that their husband is saying he is “not a sex addict.”  Often the explanation continues along the lines of  “and you’ve got a problem, your...

Navigating a Body Image Crisis: 3

Over the last two weeks I’ve been going over some of the many, thoughtful responses to the 2015 Body Image survey. In the last post we looked at some of the actions we can take to combat the negative body image that naturally arises when we find our husband is...

Navigating a Body Image Crisis: 2

The vast majority of us became extremely self-conscious and negative about our body after discovering our husband’s sexual addiction. As one woman put it, “I feel fairly second-hand, discarded, used… that I belong at Value Village.” Last week...

Navigating a Body Image Crisis

96% of the women who filled in the 2015 Body Image Survey I ran in conjuction with Journey to Healing and Joy stated that their body image had suffered because of their husband’s sexual addiction. Of the 4% that felt there had been no effect, most felt their...

Dear Sex Addict (or the like)…

Dear Sex Addict Husband: Hi. I realize that you may be a bit wary of me. After all, in my work I normally focus on wives who are suffering from betrayal trauma. However, that doesn’t mean I’m in any way “anti” you. I might be “anti”...

On Trauma, Triggers… Part 2

Last week I spent some time distinguishing between betrayal trauma (the results of a one-time disclosure event and/or a long-standing pattern of abuse, neglect, etc.), triggers/PTSD  (the aftershocks of betrayal trauma) and re-traumatization (new traumas on the...