Judgmental?

Over the course of my time working with partners of sex addicts  (PSAs) I’ve heard a number of stories of women who have been accused of being “judgmental” for calling their husband out on his sexual sin. The bible obviously has a lot of stern...

A New Thing: 2022

Happy New Year to all you amazing women (and men) who are healing from betrayal or sex addiction. May you find yourself drawn ever deeper into him this year, so that wherever this journey leads you,  you find healing and growth. Here are some reflections as we...

Reflective Christmas

Whether or not this is your first Christmas “post-d(iscovery)-day”, Christmas is a hard season for those walking a betrayal journey. The emphasis on family, love, intimacy, Christian values, etc. can be jarring, given our losses in these areas. As part of...

Holiday Self-Care: Part 2

Self-care. What many Christian women hear when I say this word is “self-indulgence” or just plain “selfishness.” What I’d like you to hear in that word is “self-preservation.” Self-preservation is not about putting yourself...

To Snoop… or Not to Snoop

A couple of years ago I was in a training with some colleagues and the topic of betrayed wives “snooping” in the aftermath of disclosure/discovery came up. Personally, I’m not fond of the word “snooping.” I prefer to look at this behavior...

Thankfulness and Healing

As our friends in the U.S. prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving next week I find myself thinking about the role of thankfulness in healing. Now, if you are early into your betrayal trauma journey, the idea of trying to dredge up some thankfulness on demand may sound at...