The Wife’s to Blame ?

Today’s post, the first in a two-part series, tackles a common myth circulating in the church, and beyond, that men wouldn’t “wander” (i.e. use porn, lust, act out sexually with others) if their wives were just working harder to please them...

“Co-Dependent:” Not Healing for Couples

At the 2014 IACSAS Redeeming Sexuality and Intimacy Conference, couple’s counselor Dorit Reichental made a profound statement. She said that treatment models that tell the addict to “stay on his side of the street” and the partner to “stay on...

“Co-Dependent”: Not Healing for Women

In the last few posts we’ve looked at where the co-dependent label is off, and what the factors are that cause co-dependent traits (when the label is closer to the mark). Today I’d like to look closer at why many of our support groups are labeling wives as...

Co-Dependent?… Part 2

The way some people use the term “co-dependent” you’d think there was hardly a worse label that could be applied to a person. Mass-murderer, baby-seal-killer… co-dependent. However the fact is that many, many people have co-dependent traits at...

Co-Dependent?

If your discovery of your husband’s sexual addiction took place more than three years ago, chances are you ran into the words “co-dependent” or “co-addict” pretty quickly. I first came across these words (being applied to me) in my...

Ask the Expert Part 3

This week I have the immense privilege of attending APSATS* training with Barb Steffens — founder of the partner trauma model. I thought I’d share the blessing (of Barb’s wisdom) this week with the whole of the community, as she answers another...