The Pain of Betrayal: Fear (part 3)

One of the reasons I’ve spent extra time on the topic of fear is that much of the trauma of sex addiction-related betrayal revolves around this emotion. Even our anger/rage is often just a protective front for our fears. Any counselor you see, who understands...

The Pain of Betrayal: Fear (part 2)

Today I want to acknowledge two of the more common (and natural) fears wives of sex addicts face – fear of future betrayal and fear for our children. Fear: It’s not all Bad Experts talk about “attachment injuries” being the most painful...

The Pain of Betrayal: Fear

Several years ago Psychology Today posted a scathing article attacking the idea—proven in multiple studies— that betrayed spouses experience trauma. However about a year later the journal posted an excellent article by Dr. Kevin Skinner, including the...

The Pain of Betrayal: Anger

Anger, possibly even rage is pretty much inevitable on this journey. I devote many pages of Beyond Betrayal to examples of survey respondents’ (and my own) anger, and our reactions to it (usually guilt). And while our anger is very frequently...

The Pain of Betrayal: Shocked

Last week I gave an overview of how the pain and trauma of sexual betrayal frequently manifests. Today we look at “shock,” a.k.a. “freeze.” One of the respondents to the “2014/2015 Survey of Wives of Sex Addicts” said she felt like...

The Pain of Betrayal

The pain of betrayal runs deeper than words can describe. When women try to express it verbally it’s almost always in the language of graphic violence: “It felt like I had been stabbed in the heart over and over and was bleeding to death,” said one...