How Long…

Letter to myself:

I have both loved you and hated you for so long. The freedom I know in my heart that Jesus promises me has alluded me most of my life because of you. You have been so overwhelmingly exciting to me at times and yet so very controlling. You have made me feel so alive, so dead and so ultimately hopeless all at the same time. You have always come back just when I thought I was getting somewhere and dragged me back to the place of shame, desperation, total insecurity and condemnation. All of the promises of

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