At the 2014 IACSAS Redeeming Sexuality and Intimacy Conference, couple’s counselor Dorit Reichental made a profound statement. She said that treatment models that tell the addict to “stay on his side of the street” and the partner to “stay on hers” are harming the marriage.
Most of the groups and therapists who practice the “you stay on your side,” model also teach that all wives are co-dependents. This assumption alone tends to push couples apart and cause them to do things that are unhelpful for the marriage… as well as their individual healing.
For example, sex addicts have a tendency to blame others for their issues. “My wife is a demanding nag who has no right to ask me to…” is not an uncommon tune for the sex addict to be singing early in recovery. Does it help him to have this message reinforced by his group or therapist? Does