In her first blog post, guest writer, C, shared thoughts about how to move from “wondering” if our husband has a problem to prompting disclosure. Today she shares the hardship of dealing with the knowledge that a husband (in ministry) has a porn or sex addiction.
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” I am overwhelmed with grief, anger, shame, embarrassed that G ever saw me naked. I get in the car in the dead of a Canadian winter night and drive to a quiet, lonely place, where, retching, I scream and rail at God. “Who is this man you let me marry?” “How can I ever compete with young, firm, beautiful bodies, none of which I have ever come close to looking like?” “How can I just get out of this?” My knees are literally shaking now as I remember the trauma.